


Moon

by norwegian_galaxies



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Actually Give Everyone A Hug, Alternate Universe, Angst, Burns, But Not Kinky Chains, Chains, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Description of Corpse, M/M, Someone Also Hug Iceland, Someone Hug Denmark, Tags Are Hard, Water, he needs a hug, oof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 16:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16099136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/norwegian_galaxies/pseuds/norwegian_galaxies
Summary: "Instead, Lukas had this...empty Matthias. Empty, lifeless. He didn't talk, didn't sing, didn't even act incredibly, adorably stupid. He was just...quiet. Silent.It hurt Lukas even more on days like this; days when something absolutely awful would happen to the Dane. He hated the bright nights. He'd once thought them beautiful. Shame."





	Moon

A sharp pain shot through his skull.

He felt his head as it hit the linoleum floor painfully, ever so painfully. His ears were ringing. He whined and pawed at his head, trying to make the horrible noise stop.

He felt hot, salty tears running down his face, and a soft, injured whimper fell from his trembling lips. He tried to push himself up from the cold floor, but he fell over almost immediately. His legs turned to jelly, and refused to support him.

He was Matthias Køhler: a straight A student, a soccer player, a pianist, and an actor in the school drama club. And presently, he was collapsed in the middle of the hallway.

Matthias tried to push himself up again, but slipped, his face hitting the hard linoleum. His ears were still ringing, his head when he felt it was still aching--throbbing--from when he'd hit it on the floor. He rolled over onto his back, covering his face with his hands, tears slipping down his cheeks, and he whimpered, softly.

He hoped someone would come.

He hoped anyone would come.

Then his hopes were answered.

*

The nurse hadn't understood why Matthias Køhler, one of the healthiest students in the whole school, needed to go home. Lukas knew she wouldn't. They never did. However, she let Matthias leave, and she let Lukas go with him, too, which both of them were relieved about.

Now, Matthias was in the back of Lukas' car, stretched out across the backseats, sleeping. Occasionally, Lukas heard him shift and make small noises in his slumber, but other than that, the Danish boy was definitely deeply asleep.

Lukas was glad that he was asleep.

He'd known Matthias his whole life, and usually, the wild blonde chatted interminably when he was in Lukas' car. However, he hadn't been speaking since the incident. And Lukas couldn't stand the awful silence that hung between them. It drove him insane and made his head explode.

He missed Matthias' constant chatter.

But, he didn't do that anymore.

Instead, Lukas had this...empty Matthias. Empty, lifeless. He didn't talk, didn't sing, didn't even act incredibly, adorably stupid. He was just...quiet. Silent.

It hurt Lukas even more on days like this; days when something absolutely awful would happen to the Dane. He hated the bright nights. He'd once thought them beautiful. Shame.

He pulled up in Matthias' driveway and parked the car before turning and reaching into the backseat. He gently rubbed Matthias' shoulder and the boy woke up. His hair was sticking up all over the place, and his sky blue eyes widened curiously. He yawned, sitting up, tilting his head questioningly at Lukas.

"What?" Lukas asked, frowning at him. Matthias looked outside, at the house in front of them, then back at the Norwegian, gesturing with his eyes. "What about the house?" Matthias pointed to his own chest, a gesture of ownership. Lukas nodded. "Yes, Matthias, it is your house. What about it?"

Matthias frowned at Lukas, then signed using the few ASL signs he knew. _"My house,"_ he signed, then shrugged. Lukas took that as a "why".

"Because, it's going to happen tonight," the Norwegian blonde sighed. "I want you to be in your own room, this time. Last time, you tore up my room and I had to explain that to my parents."

Matthias smiled a bit, apologetically, before opening the car door and stepping out onto the gravel of the driveway, the rocks emitting a soft crunch whenever he stepped. He walked up towards the front door, and Lukas followed him. Matthias unlocked the door and stepped inside the house.

Lukas walked in behind him, shutting the door quietly behind him. He knew that at times like this, loud noises often spooked the Dane and triggered panic attacks, so he tried to be as quiet as possible. From two months ago, he remembered a creaky board in the foyer and stepped lightly over it, following Matthias to his destination: the kitchen.

Matthias opened the fridge and looked inside, chewing on his lip, his blue eyes scrounging the shelves for something to eat. His eyes landed on a steak and he pulled it out, gripping the plate the meat was on tightly. Lukas looked at what his boyfriend held in his hand and nodded, sighing. He took it from the wild blonde and walked over to the microwave to heat it up, then sat down on the couch in the living room, a few yards away.

Matthias hung back, standing in front of the microwave, tapping his foot impatiently. As soon as the microwave's timer went off, he pulled the hot plate out with his bare hands and immediately dropped it, howling. Lukas shot up from his place on the couch and walked over, eyes wide. "What did you do?!" He asked, staring at the plate on the floor and the steak that was hanging off the side of it. He eyed Matthias hands, which were glowing red. "Idiot, this is why you use these," Lukas rolled his eyes and walked quickly to the other side of the kitchen, opening a drawer and pulling out a potholder. He then picked up the hot plate and carried it over to the table with the potholder underneath.

The Dane watched with teary eyes, whimpering softly, still holding out his reddened hands. When Lukas set the plate down, he walked back over and gently took Matthias' shoulder and walked him to the sink. He turned on the tap and made sure the water was the perfect temperature--cool, but not cold--and gently grabbed Matthias' wrists, guiding his hands underneath the water.

"Hold your hands under the water for ten minutes, or twenty if you need to. You weren't severely burned, but I'm not sure if the twenty minutes are still necessary or not." Lukas let a smile play on his lips as he looked up at Matthias again. He let go of the wild blonde's wrists and wiped his tears with his sleeve, standing up on his tiptoes and kissing him on the cheek.

Matthias blushed a little, then tried smiling back at Lukas. He mouthed, _"Thank you,"_ and Lukas nodded in reply, saying nothing. He walked back over to the plate of steak and started cutting it into smaller pieces, then returned to Matthias, spearing one of the pieces with a fork and waving it in front of the Dane's face.

He beamed, and took the steak offered to him happily. Lukas continued feeding Matthias until there was no steak left to eat, and all of the redness on the Dane's hands was gone.

Matthias bear-hugged him and kissed the top of his head, and Lukas returned the embrace, still smiling a little.

But then, Matthias whimpered once more, and Lukas fell back, alarmed. He looked up into Matthias' eyes, which were slowly changing greenish-gold, like an evening emerald. He peered out the window over the sink and gasped, as it was already almost twilight.

Matthias' fangs were already poking out over his lip, and he'd accidentally nicked himself with one; red blood was running down from the open wound and down his face. A painful memory sliced through Lukas' mind, and he tried to push it away. He quickly wiped the blood off with his sleeve and took Matthias' hand, leading him upstairs to his bedroom.

"It'll be okay," he said, in the gentlest way possible. He led Matthias to his bed and sat down beside him.

Matthias grunted and gave him a worried look. He raised his hand and signed, _"I don't want to hurt you."_

Lukas sighed, running his fingers through Matthias' hair. "Matt, I'll be fine." He picked up some handcuffs from the nightstand and secured them around the Dane's hands.

This seemed to ease Matthias' nerves a little, but not as much as Lukas wanted. Even so, Matthias smiled at him. _"I love you, L-U-K-A."_

"I love you, too, Matthias," Lukas said, kissing the top of the other boy's head. "I'm really sorry I have to do this, but--"

_"I asked."_ Matthias sighed and laid down on his back, resting his head on the pillows. Then, he sat back up abruptly, waving his hand in the air wildly, as though trying to get Lukas' attention.

"What?"

Matthias mimicked writing in the air with a pen, and Lukas marginally understood. Matthias wanted to write. About what, the Norwegian wasn't sure. He nodded, however, and the Dane pushed himself up off the bed and ran over to his desk on the other side of the room, hands still cuffed. He pulled a pen out of the cup on his desk, moving a little awkwardly due to the limited use of his hands, and wrote down on a blank piece of paper. He tapped his chin, deep in thought, before writing in his slightly sloppy handwriting. _"Luka, I need more chains. I broke out before, remember?"_

Lukas did, indeed, remember the night that his boyfriend was referring to, and the memories returned, heavier this time. They left a bitter taste in his mouth and a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He shook himself once again to rid the memories, and nodded. "I have more in my bag, they almost broke my back on the way to school."

Matthias smiled again, rolling his eyes. _"Ha ha,"_ he wrote. _"Can you get them, please?"_ He looked up at Lukas again, pleadingly, and Lukas froze, because those weren't Matthias' eyes that were watching him. Matthias' eyes weren't gold. They were blue. They weren't ever filled with malice or aggression, either--but the gold eyes were.

He swallowed hard, swallowing the emotions and memories that had bubbled up within him when he'd seen those golden eyes, and walked over to his backpack, pulling heavy chains from within. He carried them to the chair, where Matthias was, grunting with the effort. "You sure you want to be sitting here?" Lukas asked.

Matthias nodded. _"I want to talk to you before it happens,"_ he wrote, chewing on his lip--gently, so as to not injure himself once more. His eyes glowed eerily, and Lukas couldn't look at him anymore. He focused on the chains in his hands and secured them tightly around Matthias so that only the Dane's arms could move, and even then, he was only allowed to use his hands to write due to the way Lukas had chained them. Matthias sighed and stared down at the paper in his hand, before writing, _"I think this will do for now, but I may still break out."_

"That's okay," Lukas said, and ruffled Matthias' hair lovingly. "After all, we never know what will happen until it does. Neither of us can see the future, and that's okay."

_"What if I do break out, though, and I hurt you like I did to--?"_

Lukas grabbed Matthias' hand. "Please don't think about that. I'm sure we'll both be fine. And that--that wasn't your fault."

Matthias suddenly whipped around and whined, looking horrified. He gestured to the window with one hand, the nails on that hand rapidly growing.

Lukas' eyes widened as he saw what Matthias was pointing at. The moon was starting to rise higher above the trees. Soon, it would be high in the sky, and...

_Splash_.

The Norwegian noticed tears running freely down Matthias' face, and he saw him brace the desk. "Hey, hey, Matthias, it'll be okay," he said, calmly.

Still, sharp nails dug into the side of the desk.

Lukas noticed the boy beside him growing even more restless and gently set his hand on his back.

So many things he wanted to say.

So little time.

He massaged Matthias' hand; the moon was starting to rise higher than the trees, the bluish light beginning to spill through the window. Matthias squeezed Lukas' hand tightly, and his nails accidentally dug into the Norwegian's skin. Blood spilled from the wound, and Matthias pushed Lukas away, looking absolutely terrified.

Then, his hands slowly morphed to paws, and his nails lengthened still more, tapering into deadly points. Lukas noticed the sudden look in Matthias' golden eyes. He looked afraid, as well as in terrible pain. Lukas looked away quickly and sat back on the bed, listening to Matthias crying and whimpering in pain. He always hated being there when Matthias transformed; he had to hear those pained cries and watch as his boyfriend changed shape right in front of him. His leg bounced on the floor, and he sat still, listening to the wolf howling in the room, trying to stay calm.

A few stray tears ran slowly down his cheeks, and he flicked them away, staring at his hands, folding them in his lap. They shook, ever so slightly.

 

He turned to look out the window; the full moon had since risen above the treetops, big and bright. He hadn't realized how much time had passed since he'd taken Matthias home from school. The one situation he'd been dreading all day was happening now.

_Would it be okay to cry?_

He shifted his gaze hesitantly back to the wolf in the chains and almost gasped. Matthias was staring right at him, with his yellow-golden eyes. Lukas let out a long breath and walked slowly over to the wolf, who snarled as he approached. He doesn't recognize me. He reached out a hand, and Matthias drew back. He pulled his hand away once again and sighed, more tears running down his face.

It was at that moment that he remembered the one night when he couldn't watch Matthias.

He remembered his brother calling him about Matthias acting a little strangely.

He remembered not being able to pick up the phone the next time Emil had called.

And he remembered coming home to find the door to the house open, a pile of chains, some of the links snapped or unhooked, by the door.

He also remembered seeing his little brother's corpse. Emil's chest had been ripped open by thick, serrated claws. His small, delicate neck had been snapped. Lukas remembered the feeling of Emil's cold, blood-covered hand. He remembered the thick, metallic smell of blood, on his clothes, on Emil, in his house for weeks afterwards. He remembered running around the neighborhood, screaming for an ambulance and for Matthias to come back. He remembered not being able to talk the next morning. He remembered waking up to find Matthias, his clothes bloody and torn, covered in cuts and scrapes, kneeling next to Emil, unmoving. He was staring down at the Icelandic boy, and tears were running down his face, but the tears seemed to not be a part of him. They seemed detached.

And then, the last words he'd ever said to Lukas--the last words he'd ever said to anyone, in fact--

_"I'm sorry."_

Lukas felt a wave of grief wash over him and started crying, falling to the floor, shamelessly sobbing. The wolf looked down at him, golden eyes confused. He let out a whimper, seeming to ask, "What's wrong?"

The Norwegian swallowed hard and looked back down at the floor, his vision blurred by tears. He couldn't look at those eyes. Those eyes--that body--it had murdered his precious brother without even caring.

He felt something cold and wet nudge his hand and heard another soft whimper. He didn't look up this time. He felt the wolf's warm breath on his neck and felt something warm, wet, and scratchy on his skin. The wolf seemed to understand his pain somehow, seemed to want to comfort Lukas.

Somehow, however, that hurt even more.

"Stop that," he said, pushing the wolf's snout away from him.

But the wolf just nosed him playfully, snuffling in his hair before dragging his tongue slowly up Lukas' cheek. He chanced a small look back up at the wolf and saw blue eyes instead of amber-gold.

"Matthias?" He asked, quietly, turning fully around to look at the wolf.

The blue eyes brightened and Matthias' incredibly fluffy grey tail wagged excitedly when he heard his name. He continued licking Lukas' exposed skin, and Lukas' tears slowed.

So maybe a part of Matthias was still in the wolf that had taken over his being. A big part, at the moment, it seemed.

This definitely wasn't the wolf that had hurt his brother beyond repair.

Matthias whined, nudging Lukas with his nose, seeming to ask if he was okay.

"I'm fine," Lukas sighed. "I'm just...remembering my brother."

Matthias' ears seemed to droop, and his tail stopped wagging. His eyes grew sad. Lukas knew how awful his boyfriend had felt about that whole night. That's why Lukas was the only one that could stay with him on nights like these. That's where the cuts on Matthias' arms had come from. That's why Matthias didn't talk anymore. Lukas knew Matthias thought it was his own fault, even though he knew it wasn't. They both knew.

And yet, Lukas couldn't help but despise those golden eyes that Matthias always had when he changed forms, despise those perfect, crescent-shaped black claws, despise those dangerously sharp teeth.

He wandered where the blue eyes had suddenly come from, and why Matthias wasn't trying to escape or maul him right then. Not to say he wasn't happy that he wasn't doing either of those things, he was just...confused.

"Matthias, you know it's not your fault," Lukas repeated, scratching the fluffy, coarse hair on Matthias' head. For some reason, the spiky, uncontrollable mess that Matthias' human form possessed always carried over to his wolf form. Not to say Lukas didn't find it adorable.

Matthias wagged his tail again, panting a bit, then nosed the chains around his body. Then, he looked back up at Lukas, his baby blue eyes rapt on him.

Lukas chewed on his lip, wondering whether he should listen to the clear message Matthias was trying to convey. But something had changed this time; Matthias wasn't acting like the untamable beast he usually was. He didn't know why.

Nevertheless, he loosened the chains around Matthias and let them drop to the floor.

Matthias immediately pounced on him.

Terror overtook Lukas' mind once again, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

Then, he felt the wolf licking his face, and felt the wolf's fur brushing his legs, and sighed, slowly easing his eyes open. Matthias' excited blue eyes were staring down at him. The wolf was panting, seeming happy. Lukas felt the cool air from Matthias' tail wagging happily, even more so than before.

"Okay, okay, get off me," the Norwegian chuckled, pushing Matthias off and pushing himself up. He walked over to the bed and sat down, and Matthias bounded up beside him, plopping himself down next to Lukas and laying his head on Lukas' thigh. His tail kept smacking the mattress loudly. "What happened to you tonight?" He asked, chuckling a little as Matthias yawned. He stroked the wolf's grey fur and kissed him, sleep soon taking over.

Matthias curled up next to him, holding a paw over him protectively, and nodded off not long after Lukas had.

*

"Mmm...Matthias?"

Lukas felt strong, soft, and warm arms surrounding him, and immediately assumed it was his boyfriend. He rolled over and opened his eyes, just to come face-to-face with bright, excited blue eyes, and a big smile. He started backwards, taken aback, but Matthias pulled him back to him, closer, flush against his body.

"If you're going to do that, at least put on some clothes," Lukas sighed, pushing away again.

Matthias whimpered, a pout crossing his face, before he stood up begrudgingly and stretched, yawning. He walked over to his dresser and pulled out grey boxers, putting them on before climbing back into bed with Lukas and spooning him once again, burying his face in Lukas' neck, inhaling his sweet, familiar scent.

"You big nerd," the Norwegian sighed, settling into the warm embrace of his werewolf boyfriend, all worries from the night before were gone. One more full moon the next night, and that would be all for the month.

Lukas hoped that when the next month rolled around, Matthias would act the same as he had this time. He hoped he'd act like his human self when he changed.

He didn't ever want to see the eyes of the wolf that had killed his dear Emil, destroyed him, torn him apart.

He wanted to always be able to see those friendly, beautiful, sky blue eyes. Only then could he forgive the wolf for what he had done.

 

 


End file.
